Wednesday, April 8, 2009

Buzz Kill

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Someone in my office played a cruel prank on me.

Not even a prank. Someone in my office senselessly attacked me.

I was in the copy room preparing to fax a handful of business documents for business reasons, and I needed to fill out a cover sheet with the proper business information for my my business associate. Reaching into the nearby pen cup, I innocently grabbed that last remaining pen.

It being of a retractable nature, I clicked the button on the back. The tip would not emerge. It seemed the pen we jammed. I pressed the button harder trying to force the pen out. A shooting pain flared in my hand! I quickly dropped the pen.

Clutching my stinging hand, confused and bewildered, I inspected the pen closer. It wasn't a pen at all! Rather it was a device designed to look like a pen, but instead of allowing the user it to write, it caused the user to writhe... in torment!

Now I have as good of a sense of humor as the next person, some might even argue better, so I can appreciate a good prank. If some rapscallion had insisted I use his pen, and then I got a shock, sure, we both could have a good chuckle over my predicament. But where I ask you, is the enjoyment of leaving the false pen lying around to punish random innocent bystanders? The perpetrator wasn't even around to enjoy my shocked face. No good readers, this sick bastard got his jollies just from imagining the pain he caused others. Shameful!

I promptly created a warning sign telling coworkers
"Do not use this Pen. It is a Prank Pen. Using it will give you a mild electric shock."
Consider yourself thwarted prankster.

I mean that thing really stung. I couldn't even use a stapler for a couple minutes. Stupid Fucker.