The Theatre

“Hey everybody thanks for coming out and supporting live theatre!” Does anyone else find it weird how often they hear that at Comedy shows? Like by listening to dick jokes for an hour and a half you’re somehow donating to charity. Spoiler alert: The comics, i.e. the ones actually doing the live theater, are almost never paid.

Speaking of not being paid, I’m actually doing some live theatre now in the form of a play. It reminds me of when I was performing in Boston, in that no one ever reads the stage directions, or in fact, the play, before rehearsals start. Here’s the way a lot of my rehearsals would go back in Beantown.

Director: Let’s put you in this scene.

Me: Ok but, just so you know, in the next scene I ask “What happened in there?” referring to what happens in here now, in this scene. And they lie to me, and I believe them.

Director: Yeah, but the stage just feels empty right now.

Actress: That was good, but this time don’t hand me the book.

Me: Ok, sure. Just so you know though, the stage directions say ‘he hands her the book’ and your next line is, ‘thanks for giving me this book.’

Actress: Fine, let’s try it your way.

Me: My way? Do you mean the way the play was written? Ok sure let’s try it that way.