I’ve been playing Dungeons and Dragons for quite a while now and I’ve noticed something strange. Nothing ever vomits in D&D. Ever!
I first noticed this when I was reading the entry for the purple worm. In case you’re lame and don’t play RPGs, a purple worm is a giant purple… well worm. One of the most awful things it can do to you is swallow you whole.
Here’s part of the description of the Purple worm’s “Swallow whole ability”
“Swallow Whole: A purple worm can try to swallow a grabbed opponent of a smaller size than itself by making a successful grapple check… A swallowed creature can cut its way out by using a light slashing or piercing weapon… Once the creature exits, muscular action closes the hole; another swallowed opponent must cut its own way out.” (Emphasis mine)
Ok so that’s weird. When you get swallowed by the giant worm you can stab at its throat and instead of vomiting you out it lets you slice through its body and then some mysterious ‘muscular action’ will close the hole. But, you know what it’s a giant worm there’s a lot of weird biology for a giant worm maybe it’s different for other creatures that eat you.
“… the shark’s digestive tract (AC 13). Once the creature exits, muscular action closes the hole; another swallowed opponent must cut its own way out.”
“…Tyrannosaurus’s gizzard. A swallowed creature can cut its way … Once the creature exits, muscular action closes the hole…”
NOTHING EVER VOMITS! Is vomiting somehow obscene? If so why is slashing your way out of a creature’s throat less obscene?
Now I know some readers out there are going to mention how nothing ever goes to the bathroom or reproduces either, but there are no “poop attacks.” If you are going to have rules for swallowing things whole, why give every single creature that can do that a magical self sealing throat as well?
Incidentally if you look up the condition “Nauseated” there is no mention of vomit.