Wednesday, August 29, 2007
Monday, August 27, 2007
I just wanna tell everyone about this way cool super hero whose name is Tigerman! The story's about this normal guy who was just taking his regular normal walk one day through the Rain Forest, and then he was bit by radioactive tigers! And then you know what happened?
He died!Ha ha, I had you going for a while didn't I? Come on silly, there's no way he could survive those things. He probably shouldn't have been messing with radioactive tigers in the first place.
Thursday, August 23, 2007
We start with an unwrapped twix bar, dip it in grade A clover honey, and then roll the whole thing in praline pieces. We then take that and add a fine layer of gummy. The gummy flavors will come in Orange, Lime, Lemon, and Pomegranate. Once that is in place we hide one raisin somewhere in there and maybe a pretzel. Only one in five bars will have the pretzel piece. We then dip that in chocolate, wipe that layer off, and then do it again but this time correctly. The entire bar is stuck on spinning eating accessory that will feature the likeness of either Will, Paul, or Matt. Note: the Matt one will spin a little to fast.
The FunBox candy bar will be available in CVS drugs stores across the nation, but only between the hours of 3 and 4 on Tuesday.
Monday, August 20, 2007
This yesterday, FunBox woke up at for a film shoot and some of us immediately discovered that we were too tired to want to do a film shoot.
Willie reminded Paul that: “a few people actually enjoy this time of day,” but Paul was pretty sure that was because they were “either stupid or just murderers.” Matt’s only response was to emit a long string of letter “Z’s,” all of which were capitalized and in a bold font.
The shoot was so early because we needed an to film an ATM, and were deathly afraid of getting into trouble and having to pay a small fine. Small fines are like baby turtles. They grow up, and when they do, things get ugly.
Friday, August 17, 2007
HA HA HA Vegas I beat you! I beat you! That’s right
I know what you’re thinking: how can I, the average American, also quadruple my investments without possessing any marketable skills?
In answer to your query funbox has decided to post this Guide to winning big in Vegas.
First go to Vegas: Tickets can run about $130 if you plan on flying, but if you are willing to spend 16 hours in a car you can shave that down to about $90 in gas for a round trip (a steal with absolutely no downside!) Next you’ll need a hotel. The “Hooters” hotel is surprisingly near the strip and reasonably priced (Funbox only spent about $100 for 2 nights) not only that, it also smells of BBQ wings and Sexism! They even leave a cup of ranch sauce on your pillow!
You can usually score free drinks while gambling. But if you are impatient or ignorant of this fact (I was both!) you can head on down to any of the many bars in walking distance. Drinks can be a bit pricey ($10 a pop plus tips) but the service is world class.
Now it’s time to hit the tables you should do what I did: Win twice at roulette, tip the dealer (ball-spinner?), and nervously cash in your winnings while wondering if this is the start of a dangerous addiction. Then it’s off to dinner ($120) and a show ($250).
Yes average American, you too can make it as a high-stakes gambler.
Wednesday, August 15, 2007
Monday, August 13, 2007
Go to the grocery store and buy 26 items each starting with a letter from the alphabet and make sure while purchasing to arrange them in the appropriate order along the conveyor belt. As each food item is swiped call out in a clear voice the letter it corresponds to. See if you can get the cashier to join in.
Not only is this educational and fun, it is an awesome reason to purchase zebra cakes.
Monday, August 6, 2007
First it was like "Hey maybe we could say, if too many asteroids come close we'll blow up the moon." It's got a lot going for it. I mean the explosion would probably break the moon up into lots of other angry asteroids ready to strike us despite having wanted to do nothing but be a big ol' glowin' moon beforehand. So that's good. The problem though, is the moon's far away and there's no people on it. I mean it was want to come up with a ridiculous idea, it's got to involve innocent people, not just innocent moons!
Then we were like "Hey, I know, how bout something preemptive" Everyone loves preemptive. And "there's lots of people in Los Angeles what if they attacked Los Angeles?" Since they'd probably have to be a sleeper cell in LA to attack it (like how they did on that show Sleeper Cell) they might live here already. Sleeper Cells get thirsty so Paul suggested we poison the city's water supply. Willie agreed. "It'll kill lots of other people too. Totally ridiculous. Totally evil." Then Matt chimed in saying "if terrorists had bottled water they might not need to get thirsty." Damn! "Or camels," Paul further added. Because he seemed to recall that "most terrorists carry their water in camels, which seems like a fact that would make them easier to spot but instead nope." So that plan was off.
We sat around tossing more ideas, but no one really knew where to get a Death Star, and then the conversation just degraded to us taking turns suggesting we "wreak havoc," with any noun we thought of and then then word "diabolical" placed in front of it. We didn't know most of the things would work though so that was a problem. I mean, "diabolical magnets," and "diabolical oatmeal," sounded pretty darn evil, but their uses were unclear.
Anyway, we gave up on being more evil than the republicans and instead helped write some youtube shorts that'll start airing in a day or so. We'll let you know when they're up. In the meantime, have a good one America, and stay diabolical!
Saturday, August 4, 2007
I decided to carpool to work yesterday, to do my part in saving the environment. Once in the car I said to my friend, "Hey it's kinda hot in here, do you mind if I turn on the air conditioner full blast?" (I had already forgotten about the environment thing). Once I did the entire cabin was filled with the scent of horrible, rancid, cheesy, death!
"Oh god!" "Ugh! Turn it off turn it off." "Bleg roll down a window." We reasoned that maybe it was something on the road. Perhaps someone had run over a skunk or something. It was quite hot so we decided to try again after we had driven a little further. But as soon as the air was on, the nauseating, heavy, odor assaulted us again almost as if it was angry at us for trying to make it go away.
"Something must have climbed up into your undercarriage and died" I said. No one was pleased with the prospect of fishing a dead animal out of the air vent.
Once I got to work I could still smell faint traces of it, I had this ghastly image that tiny particles of rancid animal juice had sprayed out of the vent and gotten in my clothes. I did a few laps around the whole office, trying to air myself out. Once back at my desk I could still smell it, stronger this time- and that's when the horrible realization dawned on me.
On my shoe there was a plumb-sized clump of dog poo. It took me over an hour to question my own bizarre theory's about animals in vents, and check my own damn shoe, which I had tromped around the whole office btw.
I went outside and wiped off the overripe poo, where it was immediately assaulted by a plague of flies. Then went back inside and used a paper towel to get it off my chair and from the underside of my desk. There was a lump half-way up the chair leg.
The morel of the story is probably something about "First thou should'st cast out the dog shit from thine own shoe before thou pluckest out the imaginary raccoon from thy neighbors air vent." But I think I'm gonna change it to "PICK UP AFTER YOUR FUCKING DOG, A-TARDS."
Thursday, August 2, 2007
With much love,