If you’re listing a child as a deduction, consider filling out the forms in crayon so you know you mean business. Or let children fill out their own forms and include them with your taxes. The IRS will appreciate your child’s artwork and will put in on the refrigerator of the Federal Reserve.
Asking what something costs means you probably can’t afford it so if you’ve had a good year, consider sending a blank check to the government and letting them fill in the amount for themselves. If times are tight, skip taxes this year and buy two of them next year.
For those unable to claim deductions, consider claiming inductions, conductions, and reductions.
If you think your tax burden is unfair, stop complaining and go make your own damn country with John Adams.