Monday, March 10, 2008

Did you Know Einstein was (Insert your religion here)?

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When I was younger my Dad gave me some advice that has served me well over the years. He said, “If you need to convince people of something, make your point but then say that it’s a quote from Thomas Jefferson, and people will believe you.” Here’s a good example of what I think he means:

“If ever you should need to convince people of something, simply pretend that your ideas are one and the same as someone of great import, and people will believe you”
-Thomas Jefferson

See even the great Thomas Jefferson agrees with me!

People have started to catch onto the Thomas Jefferson thing though; nowadays you’re much better off quoting Einstein! For example did you know that Einstein shared your particular set of religious beliefs? It’s true! Whatever you happen to believe about God or the afterlife you can find a quote from Einstein supporting it!

The fact that Einstein is perhaps one of the most misquoted people of the 20th century shouldn’t slow you down. For example did you know Einstein was a Buddhist?

"Only Buddhism is compatible with science. It covers the smallest particles to the largest creations of the cosmos. It is the only religion capable of scientific truth."

Or that he didn’t approve of gambling?

“God doesn’t play dice."

It’s also important to note that Einstein found no conflict between Science and religion:

“Other great thinkers, however, including the physicist Albert Einstein, have found no conflict between the varying teachings of science and religion; but consider divinity and the natural universe to be one and the same.”
- Einstein

It doesn’t really matter what Einstein actually said or did as long as it comforts you to think that one of the greatest minds of our time was a Hindu, or that he was a big fan of Homeopathy. The best part is that you can probably win arguments and convince people to come to your next church/temple/whatever service, because the fact that Einstein was a great physicist also automatically makes him great in all other realms of thought! Almost no one ever bothers to check to see which quotes are real and which ones are misrepresented.

If you really have the time, you should make up a long story where some sassy student (who turns out to be Einstein) totally blows their teacher out of the water with flawless but weird logic and wins an argument proving that God exists. You could submit that shit to Chicken soup for the soul!

This will impress anyone who doesn’t know that Einstein was an atheist, or at least a skeptical agnostic (Just like me!).

“People are always misquoting me to support their religious beliefs; it's annoying because I am an Atheist, like the members of Funbox!"

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