Friday, January 25, 2008

The Stars and Bars

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The other day I saw a truck with a “God bless America bumper sticker” next to the Ol' Stars and Bars (the Confederate Flag) and I have to say it struck me a s a bit of an incongruity. “Hey what's the best country in the world? USA!... Hey, remember that time we almost stopped the USA from existing? That was great, we came so close!”

I'm sure we've all seen the Huckabee quote “We tell them 'you're going to tell us what to do with our flag? We'll tell you what to do with the pole.” Our flag? Our flag Huckabee?! Apparently Huckabee is still a confederate. Now I don't want this to come off as a standard Liberal screed against The South, I want this to come off as standard liberal screed about the confederate flag. I can already hear my southern friends “It's not about slavery, it's about State's rights.” Hmm... State's rights to do what exactly? To own fucking SLAVES that's what! Do you really think these people give a shit about federalism, or the supremacy clause? Whew.. got a little heated there... Ok.. ok...

Ok, let's see if I understand your position, guy who flies the Confederate flag, and please correct me if I'm wrong. You feel marginalized (and rightly so, the standard depiction of a white southerner is of an uneducated, racist, hayseed). You want something about The South that you can be proud of. What was something The South, and just The South, did particularly well? Kicking ass that's what! The Civil War! Of course! The South had fewer men and fewer resources, yet in battle after battle they managed to often route the superior numbers of the North. Ok? Do I grasp the gist of your position? You fought well? Southerners aren't Pussies; is that what you're saying? See if you can grasp the gist of my position. Do you see how maybe, oh I don't know, say black people for example, might be a little offended about a flag that represented keeping them as property? Do you see how, just maybe, Non-Southern Americans might be a bit peeved to think that you are still rooting for the violent overthrow of the Federal Govenrment? Can you agree that perhaps, just perhaps, It might offend Northerners to think that in your heart of hearts you wish you could have a DO-OVER OF THE BLOODIEST WAR IN AMERICAN HISTORY? Or do you still want to tell me where I can stick the pole?

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